Fatherhood Is Very Important
There are a lot of homeless children living on the streets and raising themselves without parents. They do not have a choice, but what about children, teenagers and families who have choice and picked living separately? Fatherlessness is defined as Children living apart from their biological fathers. Forty present of children living in the USA do not live with their father and more then half of the children are likely to spend a significant portion of their childhood living apart from their fathers. Researchers reported “half of the children from disrupted families hadn’t seen their fathers at all in the past year and nearly one in five children in female-headed families hadn’t seen their fathers in five years.” (Thisdelle 25) So does every child need a father? The answer is simple: “yes” but our society’s answer is “no”. People should realize that fatherhood is as important as being a mother and should change our society’s answer from “no” to “yes.”
We cannot forget that fatherhood is made up of both a biological and social dimension. Dads are just as much responsible for raising their children as is mom. We all know that after babies are born they are more attached to their moms than to their dads but that is because they were directly connected for nine months, a relationship which they would never have with their father. It does not mean that dad is done with his job. All children need a father. They need somebody to play with, and then somebody who can teach them how to tie their shoelaces and even when they are adults they still ask for advice.
A big cultural problem, which we should fight, is that people are getting divorces or live in separation very often. People think that if the children stay at mom’s house during the week and then go see dad on the weekends everything is under control. I agree with David Blankenhorn when he said: “Many voices today, including many expert voices, urge us to accept the decline of fatherhood with equanimity. Be realistic, they tell us”. (Blankenhorn 509) People usually, after a divorce, send their children to meetings with psychologists, but that is not what they need. They need to be able to talk to their parents about problems. They have needs such as still hearing their parents say that somebody loves them even if they are so fare a way. If children do not spend enough time with their parents, it might cause a lot of problems during their childhood and when they grow up. Children without dads usually do not have respect for older people and they do not know how to start their own relationships with another people. If they grow up just with mom, they do not know how a family should function normaly. Then, after all of that being alone, single mother-households become normal thing for the children growing up under these circumstances. But the truth is that babies need both parents, not just to feel love coming from both parents but also to watch and learn how relationships between people in a happy family function.
Fatherless culture seems to get more normal. More often you can hear children say “My dad is out of town for a week”. That happens almost every day, but what is wrong with it? People are so used to thinking that dad is the “head of family” and he needs to work even if it takes him away from children for a week. If children live just with mom, in
our culture, there is nothing wrong with it, but if he or she lives just with dad this is not OK. In my opinion, mothers are more prepared for the big responsibility of raising a child. The truth is that moms and dads cannot substitute from each other. We are also loosing something more important, the idea of fatherhood. When I was 5 years old, I always thought that I have mom to prepare my food, and dad to read books before bedtime. What ever happened to those days where we were spending the whole evening in front of fireplace reading or just talking? Oh… I forgot, dad had to stay late at work today just like last week. But on the other side, we cannot criticize people who work hard. Dad is working hard to supply enough money to raise the kids, send them to good schools, and help them into a good start for their own lives. So basically every sacrifice, which he makes usually, is not because he wants to, but because he has to. I bet that he would rather be home with his children then on some kind of boring conference on the other side of the country.
Fatherhood is made up of both, biological and social dimensions, so dads should be responsible for some amount of raising their children such as their mothers. People are getting divorced or live in separation very often; they need to start to think more about the effects on the children not just about themselves and what is good for them. People shouldn’t criticize being fatherless but the fatherless culture that we live in. We cannot get used to things that easy. We should say it out loud: It is not OK to be fatherless; it is not OK to live a life without father.
Works Cited
Thisdelle, Guy. ” Journal of child and youth care.” Neglect 4 (1998): 25-36
<http://www.fathers.bc.ca/neglect.htm>.
Blankenhom, David. “Fatherless America.” New York: Basic Books (1995)
<http://www.fathers.bc.ca/neglect.htm>
